This past week has been a little up and down, but I’ve been doing my best to keep my head above the water.

Last week, my job took me to Warwick for a night.  To get there, I had to commute through Birmingham, so I took advantage of my employers paying for my food and ate at a Thai place just outside the Bullring in Brum city centre; Chaophraya.

For my commute into Birmingham and then onto Warwick on the train, I wore the following outfit.  The dress is the one I blogged about previously here when I went to the PS4L meetup back in January.  It is ridiculously comfortable for travelling so was a perfect choice.

At Chaophraya, I had the below monument to deliciousness.  Sticky Rice with Beef, served with a fried egg on top.  In complete and utter seriousness, this is one of the nicest things I have ever eaten.  If I ever go back, I WILL be having this again.  Careful mind, it’s a HOT one!

Once I got to my hotel room that evening, I did what I always do….strip down!  The room was quite warm so I lost the dress and chilled in my room in just my bra and leggings.  And, something inspired me to take this photograph of myself:

To accompany the image, I wrote some words to go with it, which are as follows:

An Ode to Oneself.

What do you see, when you look at me?
Do you see a fat girl, sad and miserable?
Or do you just apply those attributes to me as that’s what I’m “supposed” to be?
Do you see my physical “flaws”?
Like my uneven breasts,
My scars,
The bags under my eyes,
My double chin,
Or even the fact that one of my bra straps is twisted?
Do my “flaws” stand out to you?
Do they offend you?
Perhaps, you don’t see any of these things.
Maybe, just maybe, instead, the first thing you notice is my smile, warmly smiling back at you.
And that will remind you that no matter how I look on the outside; I’m human.
A person.
A person with feelings and talents and so much to offer the world.
And that I have the right to be happy.
And to love who I am.
No matter my size.
No matter my appearance.
And perhaps, if you keep telling yourself this, each day, you’ll believe it more and more.

It got reposted by EffYourBeautyStandards and a few other places too!  My follower numbers on IG went up by about 200 people, and I just couldn’t believe the response.  I feel so honoured that people would be moved and/or inspired by me.

I woke up the next morning to the response and took this selfie to welcome my new followers and to show off the resultant glow!

My work meeting went well, and I made the commute home.  The following day I was working back at home again as usual, so I kept my outfit pretty comfy and laidback.

The weekend was HARD, because it was Father’s Day weekend.  For reasons explained here, I no longer have a relationship with my father.  So I knew going into the weekend that it was going to be an emotional one, but I was determined that I would not give in, and still have a good weekend.

On Saturday, I went to visit my Grandad, and I looked bloody cute, haha!

I watched the Austrian Grand Prix qualifying session with him, which is always nice.  I grew up watching Formula One with my grandfather so it always brings back pleasant memories.

I also bought a gorgeous new lipstick and back pack.  I shall have to blog separately about a few new recent purchases!

Sunday was the hardest day.  It started with tears, and it ended with tears, but in between, I did my damn best to not let the day get to me.

I dressed for fierceness.

I met a friend for coffee, did a bit of shopping, watched the Grand Prix (Rosberg won, noooooo), did some chores, and caught up on some webcomic readings.

I then decided I would restart the #100happydays challenge.  I got to 81/100 before I stopped doing it.  So so close and yet so far.  So the following was my first post for my reattempt:

(I also introduced a new hashtag to IG… #teadrinkinggeek 😀 )

Finally, on Monday evening, I did my weekly mental health review and as a start of that, I started up a new therapy journal and started to keep a Daily Activity Diary.  I needed to reaffirm my commitment to my ongoing mental recovery and so, I did.  Feeling very proud of myself.

This has been my week so far!  Perhaps, not the most exciting, but it’s certainly been emotional.

What have you been up to this week, anything interesting?

Til next time,

Lindsay ❤

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