July doesn’t feel like it’s been my month. Without getting too much into the nitty gritty… A relationship which was (and still is) extremely dear to me has shifted focus which caused me hurt and pain. I went through a week of isolation when both of the people I normally live with were away at the same time. This found me coping with my loneliness by spending my evenings glued to the TV (I worked through all 4 seasons of Once Upon a Time in 2 weeks), feeling sorry for myself and not doing much at all. The start of that period of isolation was marked with a father-induced panic attack which made me realise that I need more help and so I re-referred myself for more therapy. This was followed by flashes of self loathing and feeling like a failure for having to go back after having already gone through therapy already. Once my husband returned home, I suffered at the hands of the medication for my migraines…it made me so restless and alert at night I basically became a zombie and ended up taking a couple of days off work. My doctor took me off those tablets and prescribed me new ones…of course, the transition period meant I was more susceptible to migraine and so I had a pretty bad attack. And finally, this week, I’ve been struck by a cold and my time outside of work has been spent basically resting and feeling sorry for myself (again). The only time I’ve been out of the house is to go out on my two driving lessons (I’m a home worker; my job is done from exactly where I’m sitting now!). To make a long story short: Lindsay likes to complain! So goodbye July….I’m honestly not sad to see the back of you. I won’t let you get me down though; I’ve spent too long already feeling rubbish and don’t want to do so any more. I survived you; I got through all the crap you threw at me. And now, I am going to pick myself back up, and move forward, stronger than ever. August is going to be a good month for me. I am going to start blogging again. I know, I am rolling my eyes at myself in that knowing way… Really Lindsay?   Well, I am going to try. As that someone who still means a lot to me always says; deeds not words. I can say it in this post until I’m blue in the face that I’m going to do it. The proof will be to actually just do it. Hello August. I welcome you eagerly….be kind, be sunny, be awesome.

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